Coping up..

i can still remember the night that i had my heart broken. i still remember the way we talked and the coldness of the surrounding. and the feeling of being snatched from cloud 9 and doomed to hell's eternal flame. i seemed to feel that for a second im being heartless and numb and before i realized, my tears started to pour on my cheeks leaving me an ugly swollen eyes.. it hurt so bad that all i want is to forget the pain and slit the very source of my life..

i went home and ponder what happened. i calculated how 

it gone wrong and why it ended that way. i fell when i realized that it was me, after all, who have done the wrong thing and it was my decision to let things go.. its bad, im bad.  after a couple of hours analyzing, i slept it all up hoping to find answers. but then i never slept, i only got a soaked pillows of regret and pain. after the morning came, i noticed that everything has not ended. i can feel the freshness of the air and so with the freshness of my wound deep within..

days after the sad story which i thought has totally find a closure, again, i made a mistake. our story never really ended, it was just a false drama of loneliness and goodbyes.. actually, the story continues until now and we were able to patched everything. now, we are still together. again. for the nth time. and im happy with it that we were able to find a better solution than breaking up.

my point is, try to give chances and allow chances to work on the relationship again. no matter how gloomy and shaky the relationship is, dont give up that easily. sometimes, you need to gamble. thats why we should not be afraid in taking risks and for allowing the chance to heal again the wounds of our hearts.

Faceless heart

As i got outside the taxi, i have seen myself rushing through my doors.. I cant think of a word to say but as i remember, i feel like its the physical death of a love one.. The pain, the throbbing pain that you could hardly do a thing but look in idle, with empty mind and a hollow heart.. Its really painful to have lost a love one. After all the times you have spent with each other, those very precious moments that you never even think of, would be gone. And would now be apart of your long list of sad memoirs. 

But then again, i should be strong. I should keep myself standing despite the tormenting pain i feel in my heart. If not for the people i love, then maybe, i, myself deserve something rewarding and joyful. And where in the world can i find that happiness i have been searching? *sigh* Only time can tell. And really, with sheer determination and courage, everything will be well.. Sooner or later, i will be seeing myself again in that state of happiness. So i dont lose hope. Everything will be fine Glenn.

 A reminder of a used-to-be hope of a one true love

Single..Lol

for days of waiting and hoping, i guess its about time to move on. I gave my time and my patience but eventually, i got tired of being so kind and forgiving.. so now, i let everything go. Although we never comunicated since ages but time is up for us. So if ever you are readng this right now, sorry babe. . i got tired, and i realized that love is not enough. i mean, we both know how important love is in our relationship but i want you to know that there is something more that we can explore, we all have the good things in life. We could be happy with our lives apart. im sure with that. SO from now on, let us just forget that there is between us.  Thanks for a one happy story with you..

LOoOoOoOVeee

Why in my ever lonely world have I to be lonely like this? 

Isn’t everything I have done is not enough for me to be happy? 

Why in my loneliness I can still feel this ever dreadful feeling. 

When I chose to have life, wouldn’t also mean to smile or to laugh around? 

When everything else is doomed to fall, am I not spare from getting things broken? 

Had I been bad in the days of my youth? 

For a man to suffer like this, I never had any explanation left for all I have done is as always to protect this sadness. All my days, I always believe that someday, what matters is not the agony and misery I have felt now and then but how I emerge to be someone better or best even if things are not so permissive. I believe that what is left in me would still work for me for good. I hope that this ever elusive love would someday take its rest in me and that there will be pain no more, no more selfish arguments, no more cruel judgment and finally, to pretend that all is well would no longer be an excuse to smile. 

Hands from Heaven

How often do you see your life in the roads of darkness? How well did you fair through your life as trials and despair struck your vulnerable heart? And how better did you become as you go on with life inspite of the mistakes you have incurred in the past? Can you count the ways and the times you comfortably sit and talked with your love ones despite the heaviness you feel inside?

Indeed, there must be something or someone that made you feel better whenever pain, sorrow and agony strike your heart. You feel better not because your emotions subsided for good but because there is God that made the whole thing alot better despite your distance to Him, despite your unfaithfulness and despite your disobeying attitude. There must be really God that forgives and eases the burden away and made you feel new and whole again. There is really God.

Oftentimes, doubt attacks us. Prior events of misery and sense of hopelessness draw us away from God. And that, God feels sad whenever we took our way out from Him. We are all selfish, we are only concerned with our feelings, of how intense our emotions were and how we were greatly carried away by it, but thats not the point. Its not about our emotions or how we feel but its OUR FAITH towards God. Yeah, we all feel grief and noone is spared from that. But our life is not about  how happy or sad we feel, its all about God. Its all about Him that everyday in our lives He sustains us through everything. We get good grades not because of our superb ability to analyze questions and give correct answers but it is how our good Lord inspires us to do all things with His guidance, with His intellect and His unconditional Love. Always, we forget about God, We fail to give Him thanks in the morning for a good night and later in the day as we commit mistakes, we forget to ask for His forgiveness. It is sad, i can say because this very thing i am talking is the one i have experienced that made me so regretful. God did not ask everything from me, neither  my whole time, my presence and my day. He just ask for a moment for me to talk to Him. But what i did, i squandered everything. 

Really, im ashamed all i have done. I remembered one familiar sentence, "In the pursuit of wrongdoing, one steps away from God." Have it appeared to you this line with its heaviness? Have you reconsidered the times you were awfully wrong and yet you continue to live your life in the squabbles of nothingness and vanity? I am no perfect person nor a righteous man. All of the life's unavailing journey, i have been into it but what have i got? Nothing. Now, is the time of reconcialiation. There is no right time in going back to God. Everyday is an opportunity to be with Him. 

Wherever i am now, I can be certain that no matter how many times i folded and slipped, the Loving mercy of my God will make a way for me. 

All for the Love of MY COUNTRY

I know there is something to hope for, for a FILIPINO like me, who was born from a distinct blood. Where the east and the west met, there my civilization was nurtured. Strong and fierce, kind-hearted and meek who greatly love his nation as well as his ancient past. In the midst of trying times and in victory as A NATION, we never parted ways and together we stand. We have learned that we are better off united than having disputes among ourselves.

The generation of greed and colonialism has improved. We are no longer the ones being put into slavery but instead, we moved on and fight as A strong nation, capable of breaking the walls of division and making a way for hope and love to reign our hearts. Its true that for many years, conquerors from the Hispanic roots has ruled to our nation for almost 300 years and we are enslaved and looked down- for Filipinos before we're as ignorant as a monkey; Americans brought democracy but in the other way made use of our rich resources; Japanese torn down every structure that we have earnestly founded and left our land, a broken and hopeless tomorrow. But then again, we never stopped, we kept on going and building a new and hopeful future. For every piece of destruction, a handful of chances gave us the opportunity to build again a renewed PHILIPPINE nation.

Dictatorship from the hands of Marcos, again, has stolen our sense of pride. With iron fist and haunting sight of downfall has shaken our hearts and imbued fears in our eyes. Political harassments and left and right insurgency has crippled our valued tag as the only country where majority are living in Christ's way of life. BUt FILIPINOS never run out of heroes. Spectators from different places accross the globe witnessed the untimely demise of Ninoy, the one who courageously said that Filipinos are worth dying for, and indeed, his death was never in vain. From the far-flung north and south, FILIPINOS gathered and condemned the dictators way and has made a unifying force of change. Yes, a radical change that opened the eyes of all people in this world that everything is possible when men of the same purpose and hope, stand together and claimed back what has been stolen. And then, Marcos fled. FILIPINOS are triumphant as we celebrate our victory, bringing back the democracy. So who would forget what happened at EDSA? Every February we commemorate the heroic acts of FILIPINOS and also of Ninoy's heritage to all the people. And it is democracy.

Now, We Filipinos, has learned our lesson. Bitter and painful in a way but could really make a difference. From the time immemorial until the now, we should remember every journey that we, as a NATION had overcame and won. In this very trying times of crises and competition among all the nations, we have made a bold step. There is always hope. And always, we will remember the past that we had. From now on, i know Philippines has a lot to shine and be proud of. And slowly but surely, we are gaining back our Fame, our Honor, as the ever valuable PEARL OF THE ORIENT SEAS. Moments from now, we can see a history repeating itself, back to the time when we ranked at the paramount of Asia, an ever growing nation that could not be denied of progress, prosperity and peace.

My dear friends, we can do better, let us join hands in building again the roads towards a developed nation.

Godbless the Philippines

Pain in my Heart

I can never fully imagined how i had fared so well in this little crazy adventure of life. Honestly, the way i see it totaly amazes me coz for someone like me, its really hard to be me. Its hard to please all my wants and its difficult to give in to my whims and caprices. I was once a spoiled kid and today i wonder if i remained the same. I enjoy doing things that arouse my curiosity, things that in some way bring me to new ideas.

Happiest piece of Cake

And oh, its been a while since my mother used to carry me and let me sleep. I trully miss those times, even i can hardly remember how it feels to be carried and being watched to sleep by someone that loves you whole-heartedly, i am wanting to feel that again. Really, time flies so fast. Im 20, and few days from now i will be leaving my college life, as a college boy. I will be introduce to a newer world, and hopefully, it is of my like. What i expect in that new place? A new sense of hope, of love and happiness. Something not new but an indelible proof of being alive and having a life. For too long now, i am walking in despair. Desperately speaking, im longing for the love and care that i had felt before in my mom's warm embrace. I know its not something so costly but i tell you, it never comes for free that you can get it anytime as you like. It needs time, love and understanding that fills the emptiness and complete the remaining puzzle of one's life. It needs a pint of emotion and a willingness to freely submit to fate's maneuvering, and again, the possibilities of spending the best and the worst of you, in terms acceptable not only to me, but also, in you.

And where in the world could i find such?

Now tell me, can our paths possibly cross with each other? Wouldn't i be scared if someday, we'll be just as what we are right now, so far and so lonely? I am afraid, this kind of pain and assuming hope would be in vain.

Truth

One of the worst thing that the truth can do is, when you finally said it..

but it never sets you free..


but locks you away.




Forever. .

Good Deeds:-)

I never really planned to go out and spend some moments outside my room today. Simply because i got so many things to do and also i wanna spend quality time with myself, alone. I feel so tired and weak and laziness, again dominated. Im so helpless knowing that i still have many exams coming, hospital internships and im preparing for my clinical defense which is the hardest part. This week, is definetely the most stressful and tiring week of the remaining days in College. Coz days and days to go, im gonna graduate. If God permits that i could graduate on time, that would be good, so good. But if not, Heavens forbid, i have to enroll again the subjects and graduate summer. But you know, summer is too long to wait. I wana rest after March and go somewhere else to enjoy and relax so i need to do good for last few days.

Around 4:00pm, i realized that i cant do anything at the moment. Im tired of thinking on how to pass and graduate and eventually relax. I have already into the four corners of my room, and my bed seems to be exhausted too, coz i never did anything except sleep, sleep, sleep, eat, browse the net, check mails and go friendster. The tense even get worse i should say. So i was thinking maybe i could change the plan and go out. So thats it. I texted my friend and said that I'll go with them in going to Church. I rushed taking shower and before i finished everything, i never knew that they have arrived at my place and they're already waiting. So sorry guys.

We went to Basilica del Sto. Nino, i knew the Church but im not so familiar with it since im not a Roman Catholic. Im a Christian but different from Roman Catholic. It was full of people and the mass had just started when we arrived. There, I saw the Priest and i listened as he gave the homily. The message was good but i feel so awkward in listening coz he kept on repeating words like transfiguration, death and journey. Actually i counted the times he had it spoken and the result: 11 for transfiguration, 8 for journey and 7 for death.. hehe Im so bad. Instead of religiously listening, i got distracted and i think i was possessed, my eyes rolling from one direction to another. haha.. anyways, the over-all assessment of the mass is good so its ok. After the mass, we go the place where people can lit candles and pray, so i got 5 candles and also i have 5 prayers intended for special or let me say, urgent needs. I lighted the 1st candle and i prayed for my exams and my final grades so that i can pass. 2nd is for me to focus in studying, letting go all of the distractions.. 3rd, is for my financial needs coz right now, i need money so i prayed that God may give me bountiful of grace that i will not be worried of it. 4th, that i can be healthy all the time and i asked for protection of my family from harm. and the 5th, is for a friend. I would not be giving details of it, but i really prayed sincerely and whole-heartedly for that person. hmmm.. hehe

Here, see the candles..

Basilica del Sto. Nino

We were about to ride a jeepney and go home but i asked them to have dinner first because i feel so hungry, so we went to Chowking since i really crave for their Chicken noodles. Gladly, i enjoyed my dinner. hehe Im already full with just one bowl and a cup of tea. And i was thinking that maybe i could go and leave them behind.. haha just kidding. Its almost 8pm that everyone's finished and we're ready to go. So we ride a jeepney and finally, i reached my place.

waaaa.. im tired again. i wanna sleep. but ooops. i have to publish this first. It has been a great day today. Maybe tonight i can study well. I hope so. But hey, one of my prayer has already been answered. My mom just called me and she said, she already sent me my allowance for this month. haha Hmm im so lucky today. Unlike yesterday. Yesterday was a bad day for me, my mom scolded me that last month, she said, i spent too much. And it was true, as i checked my account, i really wasted big amount of money for nothing, maybe nothing for others but for me its something special(last month was February, and you knew whats in there)haha and its ok. sorry mom.

Im about to sleep but let me share you this first..

"I gave you my heart,

if its not enough for you,

then im not good enough for you."

Tired.

Waaah.. I dont wanna wake up. I can hardly move my body and my head is not functioning well. Here i am again, feeling so depressed, so down and so tired. Well, maybe i guess its time to straighten things for me. :-)I observed that in the past few days, i feel so weak and so lonely. Actually im counting down from the time i feel so happy until it would eventually perish. i know everythings has limitation, and the time, we know, we cant just allow it to stop and settle to the moment so memorable to us, that we dont want to leave. Its been a week since i had this feeling of ups and downs, somewhat euphoric in nature but could be instensely sad. huhu how i wish i could just easily erase all the things that could cause me pain, temporary happiness or whatever it is that concerns my emotions. damn. i am totaly screwed. Days from now, history will be repeating again, and maybe i will be starting all over again. well, its just a guess. i dont wana close the possibilities but i am open to whatever events to come whether it would be painful or not. T_T




haizzz.. im quite uncertain about tomorrow or next few days. ofcourse about my studies and also my Life. its quite complicated to say but its like a make or break scenes. really im counting my happy days, then hours from now.. im afraid, i dont know. maybe im just depressed that i cant control this fucking water flowing from my eyes.. what? water? haha damn you glenn. here you are again, playing some lies and make-believe things. you are hurt, cant you see and it will get worse and you will be terribly lonely in this damn whole universe.

what can i do? i dont have choices right? im doomed for all of this. grrrrrrr.

Maybe time has something to reserve for me, you know in the near future. i cant just bear the idea that i will be bidding goodbye so soon. well things could sometimes beyond our grasps. the truth is, we cant hold on to something no matter how important that person is. and thats the saddest truth i learned. even the most remembering moments, its so sad to say they'll all be gone against your will.

Lonely Warrior

I know how loneliness is like and I know how bad the details of it.

For quite some time now, I have been avoiding to write not because I got many things to do nor I lost the passion in writing but because of this one reason- I cannot get enough sheet of paper to ascribe in all the damn happenings in my life. With this reason, only few people understand although I want all of them to know as to why and how but we have limitations.

How have I been? I am alone, am I not lonely? I would be devilishly liar if I would say I am not- try to see the trace of my life, how could anyone say that I am happy? Try to witness nights with me, have me for a day, and see every faking smile I made. I am always creative in faking happiness that is all I know. A day is always a burden to me in thinking of new ideas on how to hide my deep-seated sadness.

6,303 days and counting, and I have the same loneliness back when I was a child. I have had bad times during my childhood years just as the other kids could have.

Deep within life could be intensely lonely. I am. Back then, I always dream of a bicycle. Although I got the desire of having, but I was not able to tell to my mom what it was. And today, it’s frighteningly sad to tell that I still want to have it.

I long for a bestfriend then and until now, I still have that feeling, which someday I would be able to find the person I have been looking for.

Now that I have grown up, I can say that there is just a little difference compared to my life way back then. The friend and the bicycle that I dreamed were the ones making my life *incomplete* until now. It is hard to live alone, its sad to continue living life with a hollow inside that makes my existence incomplete. It is as if you are carrying the whole world and all its heaviness. Good for those who have brothers or sisters to play with when they were young because they have not missed a part of their lives like on how it feels to have a friend; to have somebody to run to when bullies are approaching your way and learned instant martial arts in driving them away-and that’s what I missed.

How was it with you? I can see people today who have the same sadness with mine. That is why I understand them better than others do. I can feel the pain, I can see the wound, and I can touch their scars. And I am at my best in caring for them.

But as I go along with my life, at the age whom other people would think that I could fairly grasp the complexities of life, sometimes I asked, who would be there if I don’t love myself? Moreover, if I love someone so much, how can I bear it that one day we will be separated? Could it be possible that we love someone and were not afraid of losing him or her? At the same time, I was wondering, is it possible that we can live without loving anyone at all? These kinds of questions always run through across my mind. Day and night, I am always looking for answers because I only got one certain thing, that all along, it was me who completely love myself. It is not easy I say, because what if I would run out of reason to love my life? Force within has been doubling each day, I cannot be sure why it is so. I guess I am just anxious as to where I would land and perhaps end my life? Random thoughts occupy my mind and I am sober in keeping them because making them real is what I am afraid of.

At this point, I can already perceive the kind of path I have been walking, I am in the middle of crossroads- trying to figure out what way is better and right for me. Of all the things I have done, I can say that it is loving that makes me extraordinary. It was love, which have kept me and guided me in the right way. I have learned to love those who are unlovable and more to those who showed love to me. I can never forget the days, those precious, eventful, and unusually happy days- the times when I had to be at the peak of joy and relief; the times when I am walking tip toed, carefully avoiding the noise, afraid to wake the one lying in the crib while sucking her thumb in deep slumber; the times when I completely shut down all my senses just not to hear and see the inequalities of life and the weight it had prompted me to give way and make others happy instead. Those simple and yet very touching events were all but due to one reason. It is love. TO ALL THE LOVES THAT BRING US TO LIFE.

When the time comes that I would get old, I would be happy with the choices I have made. To all the unselfish and my-own-happiness-paid decisions, I know it was all worth the sacrifices. It could be hard for me to decide during those weary and teary days, but I made my stand. Even if I made mistakes along the way, I know it is better than never having tried to love and be loved. Life has always gives us opportunities to start over after we learn from our mistakes.

The ever-painful scratches and marks of my story, surprisingly, have been keeping me alive. I had been to all angles of life and to all sides of human wisdom-there I realized that being wise have much to learn. I was there to every person’s sadness and laughter- there I learned that each one of us have different story to tell. I have seen myself in my difficulties and prosperities, but nothing is more important than sticking to the promise I have made during my childhood days- that when I have found my one true love, I will never be the same person in my juvenile days, who have almost lost the key to living a meaningful life because of his inability to speak out for what he wants and what he feels. I will, in my very limited strength, keep and love the one who brought and destined me to life. I will fight for the bicycle I desired once, and for a friend I have been dying to have until my hair turns gray. I will make a beautiful story out of my seem-to-be hopeless past and I will make it known to the whole world that as long as you love, you still have hope.

P.S: Thanks to BitterSweet-taste m&m, for inspiration. To my Baby, I miss You.

To my Sweet Sweet Candy who Turns to be my Baby

“Ipagpatawad mo minahal kita agad”

It’s really different when you feel love at the earliest in the morning until when the sun sets. The feeling of being secure that somehow guides you throughout the day that everything’s gonna be fine as long as you love and never quit loving. It’s always true, that its love that keeps us alive. Despite all the odds that that come to our way and sometimes make our lives miserable but when you come to think of that person you’re in love with, it’s incomparable. You know the unexplainable feeling of happiness, and sometimes, the surprise that really surprises you, we can only say to ourselves, damn, i wanna fall in love over and over again.

And now, here I am, I am about to confess that i have gotten crazy over this ‘baby’ of mine, which I don’t know if we can be together. We have different lives, from different culture and different environment. Yeah, we’re too far from each other and it saddens me whenever I think of something about letting go and goodbyes. I don’t wanna say goodbye to this person, no, not for this one. Its too early to say but please, whoever of you guys wanna tear us apart, heaven forbid, you’re all gonna die painfully. :D

For weeks of constant communication, and uttering of sweet nothings, i had fallen so hard. Cross my heart, it’s true. Baby, promise me we’ll see each other ok? And we’re going to do the things that lovers share and we’ll cuddle ‘til morning comes.

If ever, i had mistaken of loving you, hope you can forgive me. I know I can’t give you everything you needed, the life you wished and the person you wanted to have. I’m just an ordinary person, a lover, a son from a simple family. Like other people, I do commit lots of mistakes, I calculate things and I fail so many expectations being set to me. I have hurt so many people in my past and I can’t assure you that I’m not gonna do it to you. I’m just human, I am so imperfect. And maybe I will forever be someone imperfect. But just as imperfect as i am, i would to be someone you would love. And whenever time comes I badly disappoints you, and you wanna go out in my life to find someone new that don’t sound and look like me, leave me gently ok? Coz I’m afraid I might gonna die in pain. Maybe now, you can just forgive me for loving you so soon and so easily. Don’t ask me why coz even me I can’t answer that kind of question at the moment.

I can still remember how desperate I was in looking for answers and solutions for my sadness. Then out of the blue, I saw you. I did the first move, I try to make friends with you and you said its ok. We became good friends and there I was, hopelessly hoping that we’re gonna be so close like you consider me your boyfriend. And there was a time you said so. Partly, I was relieved and contented when you agreed to me that I can be your boyfriend for a night, I was so happy then, and I wished I can be your boyfriend forever.

Now, where are we baby? Coz this is the question I often asked that really confuses me. I don’t know where am I standing in your life, in your heart particularly. All I know is that I love you and I can be sure that I really love you. And then maybe you would say,” I don’t love you and you’re a complete stranger to me Glenn. Give up, you can’t get the love you want from me coz I have a boyfriend and I love him so much like no other.” Will you say that to me baby? Honestly, I’m not sure what you feel towards me. I can’t sense any of it. Maybe I’m just so numb or idiot, but i want to know what I am to you. I sometimes wished that I can be just like Edward that knows what people feel or think but sad thing is, Edward can never sense what Bella, the one he loves most, feels for him. Grrrrr

Forgive me baby for loving you if it would be a mistake. And now i don’t wanna lose you coz I LOVE YOU.

A Wooden Heart- To my Sweet Sweet Candy

Some say that we can do so much by loving ourselves. And that no one could really make us special except through ourselves.

Everyday, i always try to believe that no ones gonna be there for me. I will live my life alone and i will rescue my own self whenever i feel sad or lonely. I laugh with myself alone and giggle till im contented. And share everything of me, to me alone. Its like a monocycle, you balance yourself to avoid from falling and a monocular to see things only by your own. Day by day, im convinced that everything will be forever the same. And so i bleed.

When the time comes i feel like tired, i was there. Who would be there anyway if not my own? Every passing moment is an opportunity to seize. The joy and the laughter, the tears and sadness all by your own.

Oftentimes i reminisce of a tale wished by everybody around me, i always hear them say of how wonderful could a story be. I just sigh silently in the corner and simply closed my eyes and pray. I know there will always be reasons as to when it would come true. I waited patiently and eagerly because i could not think of answers as of the moment. I have nothing to lose anyway.

Years along the way could be so tiring, as a student, as a brother, as a friend, as a Christian and as a lover. But then again, i never quit walking. There had lots of stumbling blocks as i walk by, and my wounds are pretty obvious. I never stopped until i reached an old oak tree. There i gently put my back on its trunk and its so comforting to be under its shade in a bright sunny day. I miss those times-being an innocent and juvenile lad. I can still recall how shallow my happines were. And everything works out so well, with a candy or a toy for instance, as a reward. Countless instances, the same thing happened. I walk the trip all by myself. No one’s passing my way, and i gladly move forward.

Few days ago, i realized Its saddening when you seem to be so optimistic in your life. Because oftentimes, you are vulnerable to pain. Its always. It gives you false hope that everything will be better when in fact its not. It gives you false assurance of love that somehow its going to work and will lead you bleeding instead. Its ironic. Unfortunately its true. The last time I was hurt, its horrible. I can hardly eat or even attend my classes. It stops me from going to social gatherings. My friends are worried and my parents begin to notice. But I never said a word to anyone. I kept everything inside me because I was damn broken to care for other people. All the love and joy had vanished, whats left is an empty, broken and shattered heart. And the last time I was hurt, I said goodbye to everything. And without knowing, I have to go over again with the same story, twice, thrice and more. As expected, I bade goodbye many times in my life.

Today, I can no longer imagine what my heart looks like. After all, I still want to feel love, I crave for love more and more. Its rewarding to feel that after a sad story, a bad stormy day, there you go again, ready to be hurt, let go, move on and fall inlove again.

And now, I guess I am inlove. I’m inlove with a strange candy named L****. I dont know what that person feels for me but its ok whatever it is. We are too far from each other and It misses me everyday like my sweet sweet fairy. I think of L at night when I sleep, I can see the face in my reviewer and in my presentations at day. Im acting like crazy and weird lately since I met this candy and I like it how it feels to love a person even youre far or without expecting something in return.

That candy, is the reason why i am writing this. Its sadness and tears makes me so weak inside. Please dont be sad. Im here.

P.S. To my sweet, sweet candy. Be sweet still. I will buy you soon. I will bring you at home and i will let you feel love. I miss you.