“Ipagpatawad mo minahal kita agad”
It’s really different when you feel love at the earliest in the morning until when the sun sets. The feeling of being secure that somehow guides you throughout the day that everything’s gonna be fine as long as you love and never quit loving. It’s always true, that its love that keeps us alive. Despite all the odds that that come to our way and sometimes make our lives miserable but when you come to think of that person you’re in love with, it’s incomparable. You know the unexplainable feeling of happiness, and sometimes, the surprise that really surprises you, we can only say to ourselves, damn, i wanna fall in love over and over again.
And now, here I am, I am about to confess that i have gotten crazy over this ‘baby’ of mine, which I don’t know if we can be together. We have different lives, from different culture and different environment. Yeah, we’re too far from each other and it saddens me whenever I think of something about letting go and goodbyes. I don’t wanna say goodbye to this person, no, not for this one. Its too early to say but please, whoever of you guys wanna tear us apart, heaven forbid, you’re all gonna die painfully. :D
For weeks of constant communication, and uttering of sweet nothings, i had fallen so hard. Cross my heart, it’s true. Baby, promise me we’ll see each other ok? And we’re going to do the things that lovers share and we’ll cuddle ‘til morning comes.
If ever, i had mistaken of loving you, hope you can forgive me. I know I can’t give you everything you needed, the life you wished and the person you wanted to have. I’m just an ordinary person, a lover, a son from a simple family. Like other people, I do commit lots of mistakes, I calculate things and I fail so many expectations being set to me. I have hurt so many people in my past and I can’t assure you that I’m not gonna do it to you. I’m just human, I am so imperfect. And maybe I will forever be someone imperfect. But just as imperfect as i am, i would to be someone you would love. And whenever time comes I badly disappoints you, and you wanna go out in my life to find someone new that don’t sound and look like me, leave me gently ok? Coz I’m afraid I might gonna die in pain. Maybe now, you can just forgive me for loving you so soon and so easily. Don’t ask me why coz even me I can’t answer that kind of question at the moment.
I can still remember how desperate I was in looking for answers and solutions for my sadness. Then out of the blue, I saw you. I did the first move, I try to make friends with you and you said its ok. We became good friends and there I was, hopelessly hoping that we’re gonna be so close like you consider me your boyfriend. And there was a time you said so. Partly, I was relieved and contented when you agreed to me that I can be your boyfriend for a night, I was so happy then, and I wished I can be your boyfriend forever.
Now, where are we baby? Coz this is the question I often asked that really confuses me. I don’t know where am I standing in your life, in your heart particularly. All I know is that I love you and I can be sure that I really love you. And then maybe you would say,” I don’t love you and you’re a complete stranger to me Glenn. Give up, you can’t get the love you want from me coz I have a boyfriend and I love him so much like no other.” Will you say that to me baby? Honestly, I’m not sure what you feel towards me. I can’t sense any of it. Maybe I’m just so numb or idiot, but i want to know what I am to you. I sometimes wished that I can be just like Edward that knows what people feel or think but sad thing is, Edward can never sense what Bella, the one he loves most, feels for him. Grrrrr
Forgive me baby for loving you if it would be a mistake. And now i don’t wanna lose you coz I LOVE YOU.
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