Coping up..

i can still remember the night that i had my heart broken. i still remember the way we talked and the coldness of the surrounding. and the feeling of being snatched from cloud 9 and doomed to hell's eternal flame. i seemed to feel that for a second im being heartless and numb and before i realized, my tears started to pour on my cheeks leaving me an ugly swollen eyes.. it hurt so bad that all i want is to forget the pain and slit the very source of my life..

i went home and ponder what happened. i calculated how 

it gone wrong and why it ended that way. i fell when i realized that it was me, after all, who have done the wrong thing and it was my decision to let things go.. its bad, im bad.  after a couple of hours analyzing, i slept it all up hoping to find answers. but then i never slept, i only got a soaked pillows of regret and pain. after the morning came, i noticed that everything has not ended. i can feel the freshness of the air and so with the freshness of my wound deep within..

days after the sad story which i thought has totally find a closure, again, i made a mistake. our story never really ended, it was just a false drama of loneliness and goodbyes.. actually, the story continues until now and we were able to patched everything. now, we are still together. again. for the nth time. and im happy with it that we were able to find a better solution than breaking up.

my point is, try to give chances and allow chances to work on the relationship again. no matter how gloomy and shaky the relationship is, dont give up that easily. sometimes, you need to gamble. thats why we should not be afraid in taking risks and for allowing the chance to heal again the wounds of our hearts.

Faceless heart

As i got outside the taxi, i have seen myself rushing through my doors.. I cant think of a word to say but as i remember, i feel like its the physical death of a love one.. The pain, the throbbing pain that you could hardly do a thing but look in idle, with empty mind and a hollow heart.. Its really painful to have lost a love one. After all the times you have spent with each other, those very precious moments that you never even think of, would be gone. And would now be apart of your long list of sad memoirs. 

But then again, i should be strong. I should keep myself standing despite the tormenting pain i feel in my heart. If not for the people i love, then maybe, i, myself deserve something rewarding and joyful. And where in the world can i find that happiness i have been searching? *sigh* Only time can tell. And really, with sheer determination and courage, everything will be well.. Sooner or later, i will be seeing myself again in that state of happiness. So i dont lose hope. Everything will be fine Glenn.

 A reminder of a used-to-be hope of a one true love

Single..Lol

for days of waiting and hoping, i guess its about time to move on. I gave my time and my patience but eventually, i got tired of being so kind and forgiving.. so now, i let everything go. Although we never comunicated since ages but time is up for us. So if ever you are readng this right now, sorry babe. . i got tired, and i realized that love is not enough. i mean, we both know how important love is in our relationship but i want you to know that there is something more that we can explore, we all have the good things in life. We could be happy with our lives apart. im sure with that. SO from now on, let us just forget that there is between us.  Thanks for a one happy story with you..

LOoOoOoOVeee

Why in my ever lonely world have I to be lonely like this? 

Isn’t everything I have done is not enough for me to be happy? 

Why in my loneliness I can still feel this ever dreadful feeling. 

When I chose to have life, wouldn’t also mean to smile or to laugh around? 

When everything else is doomed to fall, am I not spare from getting things broken? 

Had I been bad in the days of my youth? 

For a man to suffer like this, I never had any explanation left for all I have done is as always to protect this sadness. All my days, I always believe that someday, what matters is not the agony and misery I have felt now and then but how I emerge to be someone better or best even if things are not so permissive. I believe that what is left in me would still work for me for good. I hope that this ever elusive love would someday take its rest in me and that there will be pain no more, no more selfish arguments, no more cruel judgment and finally, to pretend that all is well would no longer be an excuse to smile.